so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
