I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
