i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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