I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
