oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
