I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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