Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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