Your tits are I can't wait for
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
