You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
As shirtless as possible
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
