I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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