do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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