I'm really into asian looking animals
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
