i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
