My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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