Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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