I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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