why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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