yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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