Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
