I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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