trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
