Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
