You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
