he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's Friday. Sex?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
