dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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