Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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