yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize