My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
