It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize