i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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