she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
