yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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