Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
