When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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