would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
