Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if only i could text you this smell
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she peed on how many people?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
we're so committed to being not committed
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
