i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
