Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize