doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
