just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
