Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
