just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Its about making memories worth repressing
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
