Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize