I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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