my mouth tastes like poor choices
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
