My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
