thus making me awesome and them whores
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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