best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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