At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
