I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
