put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
