ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
