I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
