meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
