Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I supernannyed him into submission
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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