I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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