I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize