Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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