I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
