What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
