i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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