OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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