i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
3pm strippers are depressing
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
