I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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