he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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