just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
