Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
"it" just moved
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize