You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
did you just send me my own nude
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Congratulations! We have a period
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize