4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
