I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
