...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
