Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize