His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
